Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wtf. Show all posts

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

On Coexistence:

overheardinthetheatre:

“Actors without Technicians are just naked people standing on a dark and empty stage trying to emote. Technicians without Actors are just people with markitable skills and lots of free time.”

-Crew T-shirt

I have seen this quote and its variations many a time, and it never ceases to piss me off. Today it appeared on my tumblr as a post from the often hilarious "Overheard in the Theatre" blog, and I felt the need to break my 2-month blogging hiatus to rant about it.

The superiority complex that so many technicians/designers have over actors is frankly just stupid, and the fact that the post was titled “Coexistence” just makes that feeling of entitlement ironically condescending. Obviously we high and mighty technicians deign to bestow our marketable (notice how I spelled that correctly) skills upon you pitiful, helpless actors in our bountiful free time.

My job has no purpose without actors. I depend on them for my livelihood. My job title is “stage manager-” a stage with nothing on it does not need a manager. We coexist, a symbiotic relationship, like sharks and those little sucker fish that follow the sharks around.

The respect that I have for actors is enormous. It takes skill, hard work, passion, and training, and a level of determination and self-sacrifice that few professions require. I have no illusions about my skill (or lack thereof) as an actor. Without technicians, an actor is "a naked person standing on a dark and empty stage, trying to emote." I beg to differ. An actor, a decent actor anyway, any actor worth his salt, would not allow a lack of technical assistance to prevent him from telling his story to the audience. He would find some clothes, he would find a light switch, and he would not try to emote. He would act. Just ask the girls in the BFA Performance program my senior year at Auburn, who produced Five Women Wearing the Same Dress without any technical staff, and gained not only new skills, but a greater respect and understanding for those of us on the other side of the curtain.

It is true that there are sometimes actors who don't understand what goes into the technical aspect of a production- take, for example the tech process of a musical I recently worked on. We were having sound issues, namely the orchestra was overpowering the cast due to their placement in the house. The cast couldn't hear themselves in the monitors, no one in the audience could hear them, etc. Instead of working through it, they were angry with our sound designer- Why can't he just turn down the volume? It's too loud! They had no concept of how difficult it is to mix a live orchestra, and no trust in the designer to fix the problem as best he could until we could find a more permanent solution (ie, moving the orchestra into another part of the building entirely & just using the monitors).

However, this goes both ways. I recently worked on a production that had a large, moving scenic element that rotated without a fixed point. The actors were moving this unit themselves without a run crew of any kind, and unanimously told me that it was very difficult to move and control- they needed handles. When I relayed this information to the scenic designer, he replied "They don't need handles. They're actors. You can't expect them to figure out how to rotate it correctly on their own." When we showed him that the way the actors were moving the unit was exactly the way they had been instructed to and it was still unnecessarily difficult, he agreed to the addition of handles.

Basically what this all boils down to is respect. Respect for other artists. Respect for another person's work. Having enough respect for someone else as a person to view their work as art. Respect for the creative process. Eliminating the sense of "the other" or "the inferior" so that all members of a company are viewed as equals.

Theatre is a collaborative art, y'all. Truly the most collaborative art form in existence, and without respecting your co-collaborators, where are you?



Wednesday, January 12, 2011

One day, I am going to go into the scene shop when there is nobody there and take all of their drill guns, hide them in various places around the building, and then promptly forget where I left them.

Yesterday, I had a push broom, a regular broom, 2 dustpans, & a foxtail in the green room, all labeled CIRCUIT SM ONLY.

Today, when I needed to sweep before our first rehearsal onstage, I instead spent 15 minutes looking for those items.
Here's my tally:

  • Push broom: UNDER THE ROCK WALL. Really? It's under the wall. You need to sweep under the wall?
  • Regular broom: MIA
  • Big dustpan: Under a trashcan backstage
  • Small dustpan: On the tablesaw in the scene shop
  • Foxtail: MIA.
Really I just want my foxtail back. Is that so hard?

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Sister Myotis

Found out today via facebook that the guest lighting designer from NYC who designed Spelling Bee at Auburn (and Metamorphoses and Little Shop of Horrors) also designed the lights for Sister Myotis' Bible Camp. If you have never heard of Sister Myotis, she is a Memphis theatre tradition of loud, hilarious Southern church-lady-ness and she is played by the same actor who was Grown Ralph in A Christmas Story. Sister Myotis wroter herself a one-woman show that played in Memphis to great acclaim and actually moved to an off-Broadway run this past summer, and when Sister Myotis went to the Big Apple, Travis was the lighting designer.

SMALL WORLD. SO, SO SMALL.

Phantom Phish Pheeder


What kind of person takes it upon themselves to feed a fish that isn't theirs? I mean really. And they didn't just feed him, they dumped food into his tank. Sorry, Jessica! I'm tryin' to take care of ya, really!

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

No really, never work with children.

This morning we had a school matinee performance of A Christmas Story. My 7-year-old actor playing Randy, the little brother of the main character, was late for an entrance. It went something like this:

Scene change where several things happen at once in a blue-out.
My realization- I didn't see Randy get behind the couch, but it's possible that I missed it in the scene change.
Mother's line "Randy, are you back there?"
Randy is not back there. Randy is entering the stage, from the wings. Sweatervest half on, suspenders dangling.
Mother has no idea that Randy is not back there, as she cannot see where he is supposed to be hiding, until he walks in the front door of the house like he's coming home.
Before Mother can attempt to cover this situation, he looks out at the sold-out audience of school children, says "I'm late," gives an apologetic shrug, and dives behind the couch.
Mother continues the scene, talking to the now-unseen Randy behind the couch.
I am thinking, at this point, "For the love of God, kid, just put your vest on before you come out from behind that couch."
Randy comes out from behind the couch. Randy has put on his vest. Backwards. Suspenders still dangling.

This kid is a hot mess, but he is so freaking adorable that it almost doesn't matter. Almost.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

What is my life?

Today I spent 10 minutes with my arm shoved all the way inside a box covered with glitter, attempting to dislodge a wad of tissue paper with a wooden spoon. Then I swept fake snow, went on an Easter egg hunt for prop food scattered about backstage, and threatened to fire a 7-year-old.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Is this real life?

Surreal. That is the only word to describe the first run-through of A Christmas Story. At one point the actor playing Grown Ralph looked at the director and said "Is this for real? Is this really happening?" The director and I looked at each other and she said "We just did not think this through, did we?"

We were rehearsing in two different rooms- one for the Parker house, and one for the other scenes. Not ideal, but we were making do. Then came time to run Act I. If you've ever seen or done A Christmas Story, you'll know why this was a problem- the play is, essentially, the movie onstage. It relies heavily on cinematic-style montages of scenes- 2 pages in the house, 1 page at school, 1 page outside, 3 pages in the house, and so on. For 77 pages. The run-through took about 2 hours, for 1:09 of actual stage time (I'm pretty pleased with myself that I even managed to salvage an accurate run time from that fiasco).

Yesterday was The Great Rehearsal Migration of 2010- the Ballet moved out, which meant that Peter Pan moved their rehearsals from the small rehearsal room to the big rehearsal room, and so A Christmas Story moved downstairs to the small rehearsal room. This meant moving 2 sets of rehearsal furniture and props and all of the ensuing detritus that accumulates in rehearsal spaces, as well as taping out 2 groundplans.

Frantic taping ensued- the floor of the big rehearsal room is unsealed (whose bright idea was that?) so spike tape pulls the paint off the floor. Which means the sets had to be taped in painter's tape, and then spike tape got laid on top of that to color-code the various sets.

In other news, I worked the overnight electrics load-in for Peter Pan, which got me out of the Monday all-call for the scenic load-in. It was fun, and even though I worked from 1:00pm on Sunday-7:00am Monday with an hour break for dinner, it didn't feel like that much. I'm not going to say I was full of energy at the end of it, but I definitely wasn't as exhausted as I expected to be. We started with a bunch of set-backs- couldn't start hanging until midnight for various reasons, spilled coffee on the plot, and had to frankenstein the gel cuts for the cyc fixtures (you can get 4 cuts with the grain going vertically, but only 2 if it goes horizontally. Guess which one we needed? Guess what the ME didn't know when he ordered the gel?) but we prevailed! The hang went really well and we got everything done!

I say I started work at 1:00 on Sunday, but really I just watched the ballet. Ballet Memphis was in residency at POTS for the last 3 weeks, performing A Midsummer Night's Dream. I watched the show from the booth- our lighting designer ran their board for them, so I sat with him and listened to their PSM call the show. I wanted to shadow her, but she called the show from the deck and there wasn't really room for me to stand with her during the show. I really enjoyed the show, it was pretty gorgeous and surprisingly funny. I wish that there were more of the Mechanicals- it's just Bottom and Quince. I guess that's standard for the ballet version? I don't have anything to compare it to, so that's pure speculation.

Right now I'm sitting at the light board- I'm running the board for our lighting designer/master elec while they focus the show.



Friday, October 29, 2010

2 WTF moments & 1 War Eagle moment

Today I had 2 WTF moments:

First, as I was driving in to the theatre tonight for the show, I passed the front doors and saw our house manager outside talking to ... a cop? I pull around the side of the building to park and see that yes, there is a cop car parked beside the building. By the time I had parked and gotten my stuff, the cop had already gotten back in the car and was pulling out, so I high-tailed it inside. No house manager in sight, but our ME is in his office. I asked him why the cop was here and he says "Uh, I think he wanted to buy a ticket, actually." My heart was beating so fast, I thought I was going to go into cardiac arrest.

Then, I found 3 pencils, a pen, a cough drop (unwrapped, but uneaten) and a penny scattered around the apron of the stage. It was like a middle schooler emptied their pockets on the stage. It wasn't there last night, and nobody should've been in the theatre today... It's a mystery.

And I had a total War Eagle Moment this afternoon! My boss and our props designer both had errands to run this afternoon, so I had to meet the head of the theatre department at Christian Brothers University (this tiny little Christian college about 3 blocks away from POTS) to give him a Tele-cue that he was renting from us, show him how it worked, and get him to sign the rental form. Well, I was wearing my Auburn Theatre hoodie, and he War Eagle'd me- he graduated from Auburn with a Theatre degree in... '91, I think he said? His sophomore year was the year they hired Dan! Lynn & Robin were both there when he was, too. His class was the first one to do a haunted house. He also said that he came back a few years ago to visit and (ew ew ew) the green room furniture is the same.

Strangest Patron Ever

So last night, I had the strangest interaction with a patron I think I've ever had- ranked right up there with the guy who didn't seem to understand why I didn't want his 6-year-old daughter to go down the fireman's pole on the set of Alice in Wonderland...

I walk into the theatre at 6:15, a little earlier than usual. The doors were unlocked because of rehearsal in the big banquet room (normally we keep the exterior doors locked for as long as possible due to homeless people). So I walk in and there's this guy standing in the lobby, right inside the door. I gave him the quick Memphis once-over (are you dressed like a hobo? can I smell you from where I'm standing?) and then saw that he was holding a comp ticket voucher, so he was obviously in the right place, just really early.

Man: Is this Black Pearl Sings? Is that here?
Me: Yes sir. There's nobody here from the box office yet, but feel free to wait in the lobby until they open.
Man: Where do I wait?
Me: Right here, in the lobby. There are some benches here, or feel free to look at the art in the gallery through those doors.
Man: I can't go in there yet, though? (ie, into the house)
Me: No, not yet. You need to wait in the lobby.
Man: OK, thanks. What's your name?
Me: Becky.
Man: OK, thanks Becky.
Me: No problem, sir. Enjoy the show.

I went upstairs to the booth. This took me about 30 seconds. When I got to the booth I glanced out the window, and saw the man sitting on the chaise onstage. I leaned out the window and yelled "SIR! GET OFF THE STAGE PLEASE!" And he looked up all startled and saw me, and walked back out to the lobby.

At this point, I'm a little bit freaked out, so while I was eating my dinner in the green room I turned on the monitor for the stage, so I would be able to see if he decided to take another nappy-nap on the set. He didn't come back in, and I thought I'd seen the last of him...

Then, at 7:00, I was standing onstage with one of the actresses, just chatting about the little kids in the audience at the morning matinee, and he opens the doors from the lobby and walks into the house!

Me: Sir, you need to wait in the lobby, please.
Man: Becky!
Me: Please wait in the lobby until we open the doors.
Man: Oh, I thought I heard them say the show was about to start.
Me: No, sir, we've got an hour before the show starts. You need to wait in the lobby.
Man: What time does the show start?
Me: 8:00.
Man: What time is it now, like 7:30?
Me: No sir, it's 7:00. There's an hour before the show starts.
Man: Well what am I supposed to do until then?
Me: Uhhhhh
Actress: You could. Uh. Go get some dinner. Or something?
Man: I already did that!
Me: Well, sir, I'm sorry, but you're just early. The show doesn't start for an hour...

Just then our house manager opened the door and got him to go back into the lobby.

I'm not entirely sure if he had something wrong with him or what, but it was absolutely bizarre.